Intentional Breath Reset

The one tool that I use most often when I’m feeling overwhelmed or dysregulated is an intentional breath reset. If you’re looking for something to get you a little bit of calm during a day where everything is becoming too much, let it be this. 

Learning to implement a breath reset can be such a great way to self regulate when things are becoming too much, and it also provides a great opportunity to model this for your children. It is something that you will always have with you and doesn’t require anything that is complicated, time consuming or difficult. 

It’s simply choosing one deliberate breath to interrupt the overwhelm so your body can shift out of survival mode, even just a little. This is the moment when you take the smallest possible step toward groundedness. 

When you're stressed, overloaded, or parenting through chaos, your nervous system speeds up and your breathing becomes shallow. Your chest tightens and your brain jumps into “just get through it” mode.

When you stop to take an intentional breath, it:

• Sends a signal to your brain that you’re safe

• Lowers the intensity of your stress response

• Brings your prefrontal cortex (your thinking part) back online

• Helps you respond instead of react

• Stops you from tipping into burnout autopilot

This tool does not require calm. It only requires one breath taken on purpose.

When to use it:

You can use this tool at any point throughout the day. Personally I use this several times throughout the day, especially during transitions (before picking kids up/after dropping them off, any time I know things might become overwhelming). Here are some other times it might be helpful:

• You're touched out

• The noise is too much

• Your child is dysregulated and you feel yourself rising with them

• You’re about to snap

• You feel the heaviness of burnout and dread

• You’re doing everything for everyone and have nothing left

• You haven’t had one moment for yourself all day

Use this tool as your emergency brake. It’s not going to solve everything, but it will help you to feel calmer, more grounded and better able to make clearer decisions.

How to use it…

There are many ways you can use intentional breath. Below are two different ways you can try. See what feels best for you and stick with that, or use them both at different times. 

The soft inhale:

1. Gently inhale through your nose

2. Exhale slowly out your mouth. Ensure your exhale is longer than your inhale.

3. Repeat, and focus on the rise and fall of your belly

4. Relax your shoulders

5. Release your jaw

6. Repeat if time allows

The 4-2-6 breath

1. Inhale through your nose for 4 counts

2. Hold your breath for 2 counts

3. Exhale through your mouth for 6 counts

4. Repeat 3 times

Remember, with this tool you are not aiming for 100% calm. You are aiming to keep your window of tolerance open so you stay connected to your thinking brain and can act in a way that won’t add to the chaos. This tool is more of a ‘10% calm to keep you going’ tool.

Use it as often as you need and see if you feel the difference. It only takes a minute at a time. You deserve a minute to help you feel calmer and more grounded.